Mood: Spidey Sense
When I think of muses, I think of how some people will create them into a character or several characters, theirs seem internal something in their minds to not only give an idea but most of the plot or story with little outside influence, or at least that what it seems to me. When I thought about what my muse would be, I realised I didn't have one that was mine. I've always felt that my muses were other artists, what gives me ideas a strongly external influences, left on my own nothing seems to be able to stay driven, internally my muses are lazy or just bad at stories it seems.
In octs this is apparent since I struggle making plots or long arching stories. Instead I wait until I have my opponent or I think what I would do if I was against x or y, which of course most people do. But I don't feel I have anything else, I can chop and change given the situation, but first I need outside influence from my own brain, I prefer for have a setting or a requirement that I can work with, nothing feels like it's driven by myself besides a loose event/situation or character that fits something pre-established.
In AatR and RoN, I see people developing their plot, pushing towards it and I don't have that. No matter how I try, for round 2 it's just blank, sure I have ideas depending on who I go against, but beyond that there doesn't seem to be an Ultimate Goal, not even in my own stories the very few I have, I may have a few things that could carry over to the next part, but nothing big.
With this blank canvas in mind, I wonder if it makes me more adaptable, willing to change the direction of the story to suit the situation? Is that a good thing or would it make it seem too all over the place without a set goal to go for? I don't feel bad because of it, but it just feels like I can't do anything of my own.
Does anyone else feel like this? What are your muses?